


humanstink

by nosebleeder



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Humanstuck, Meowrails, except not pale because im not a coward, humanstuck!au, nepquius, wtf nepquius real
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:08:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24601348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosebleeder/pseuds/nosebleeder
Summary: oh, to be a catgirl in love with a horse boy... (probably gonna change the title to something else at some point, but sjkafkj i cant think of anything at the moment that probably isn't already taken? and i dont wanna be a basic bitch)
Relationships: Nepeta Leijon/Equius Zahhak
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi i dont know how to show that they're like texting so um. dkjlsasakdfmaldsf i hope this is adequate.

A young girl lies slinking off her bed upside down, head almost touching the plush carpeting that covered her floor. Her short, dark brown hair grazes the floor, dangling lightly. She scrolls through her ridiculous amount of playlists on her unbelievably messed up iPod. Like, seriously, it’s got water damage, you can only hear the songs being played if you’re using earbuds or headphones, and possibly worst of all is the screen… oh, God, the screen… it looks like someone tried to use it in a game of baseball. It is absolutely, positively fucked.  
She comes to a stop when she finds one titled “literal purrfection,” a playlist she’s poured her heart and soul into making since she was at least 13. She is now 16. It’s a playlist she made for her best friend, Equius, and yet he has no clue it even exists. He knows she listens to those songs a lot, because she listens to it around him constantly, but man is this guy oblivious! For real, he has no fucking clue she has a playlist made for him full of sappy, cutesy love songs. As for the girl, Nepeta… well, she doesn’t plan on telling him about it. Not yet, at least.  
She taps the play button and gets up out of the weird ass position she’s in, setting down her poor, poor iPod on the bed. (R.I.P., buddy.)  
She’s starting to get a headache when her phone buzzes twice in a row, making the most generic “you got a text!” noise possible, and her face lights up despite the pounding in her head. If she had a tail, it would be wagging.  
“Please be Equihiss, please be Equihiss, pleeeease be Equihiss!” she chants.  
Breathe in, breathe out…  
She opens her new text messages to see it was, in fact, not Equius.

Meulin:  
I’m coming home now. Sorry I’m so late. I’m also bringing dinner but I can’t help you with your homework tonight; I have a cold so I’m too sleepy 3: I’m sorry and I hope you understand!  
But hey, maybe you could take advantage of it and go hang out with your ‘friend’ Equius? ;3c

“Well, at least she’s bringing food…” Nepeta frowns, disappointed. She checks the time on her phone to see just how late her sister is, and sees it’s 7:00 PM. For the last few hours, Nepeta hasn’t been doing much of anything at all, really, besides drawing, listening to music, and waiting for Equius to message her. She doesn’t know why, but for the past few weeks she’s been having trouble messaging him first without feeling… weird about it, for some reason. Like she shouldn’t be texting him first.

Nepeta:  
oh no! that’s okay, don’t worry! i hope you feel better soon, Mewlin! but um, what do mew mean by “‘furriend’”...? i don’t know why you’re doubting our furriendship all of a sudden! 3:<

Meulin:  
Don’t be silly! You know I don’t mean to be rude! I just mean I’ve noticed the way your head’s been in the clouds lately, and the way you’ve been talking about him lately… just seems like young love to me!

Nepeta:  
JESUS mewlin!!! we’re just furriends!!!

Meulin:  
Yeah, yeah. I’ll be home in 10.

Nepeta pouted, thinking about what Meulin had said. She scoffed out loud, falling back onto her bed, letting her head hit the pillow with an inaudible “thud.” Sometime during the conversation she had sat up the way you’re supposed to sit in bed. You know, like a normal person!  
“Guess I should message Equius about my homework…” she muttered, her face going flush.  
“It’s okay, Nyapeta. You got this.” she sighs, trying to convince herself.

Nepeta:  
hey, equius! so, mewlin is sick today so she can’t help me with my homework. do you think purrhaps i could come over and you could help me with it, or… something?

Moments pass. Many, many excruciatingly long moments.  
Nepeta grows impatient and curls up into a ball, about to drift off to sleep when someone knocks at her door. She jerks out of her half-conscious state, jumping up like a cat, and jolts herself out of her bed and to the front door.  
“Who iiis iiit?” she calls out in a sing-song voice. She’s on her tippy toes, trying to see through the peephole in the door, but she’s not tall enough, seeing as she’s only four foot nine.  
“It’s Meulin,” she pauses for a moment and takes a deep breath in. Assuming she’s done speaking, Nepeta opens the door, only to be sneezed on immediately after.  
Nepeta looks up at her with a deep sadness in her eyes. “Mewlin, how could you? I thought we were furriends!” she sniffles, wiping the mess off her hair with her hands and wiping them on her pants. Thankfully, she’s so short that Meulin only sneezed in her hair, but... it’s still pretty gross. And seriously, why would she touch it?  
“Sorry, Nep… you might wanna go take a shower. And also not touch that or wipe it on your pants, that’s, like, really nasty.” Thank you for being the voice of reason, Meulin. I can’t believe teenagers are SO disgusting.  
“Okay, but first do you want any help carrying that food inside?” Nepeta asks, pointing at the Taco Bell bag Meulin is holding.  
“Nepeta no please don’t touch the food with your booger hands-” Meulin pleads.  
“Technically, they’re your boogers!” she giggles. Meulin groans at this and shoves her way inside to put the food away, careful not to touch the little snot monster she created.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> she got sneezed on for a reason ik its out of context rn so it seems like a really weird addition but :D we get 2 see the reason why in the third chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we get a lil bit of background into nep and eq's friendship and some insight into nepeta's thoughts on their relationship. (we'll touch more on that in a later chapter!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this all in like 2-3 hours? with breaks to stop and look at cute meowrails fanart and stuff! :33c i hope it isn't too bad! its rlly short, too, so im sorry abt that! i might try to work on a chapter 3 soon but no promises bc ive been in a bit of a slump lately. also im sorry that equius hasnt actually like officially shown up yet WE'LL SEE HIM NEXT CHAPTER I PROMISE!!! also, a BIG huge shoutout and thank you to @meowrailss for finally giving me the motivation i needed to write chapter 2, i really aprpeciate it even if it wasn't necessarily intentional!!! :33c if u see this i hope u enjoy it!

Meulin sits on the couch in the living room, one arm hanging off the side of the couch. On a coffee table next to her is a bunch of paper towels and napkins Nepeta and Meulin had stolen from their respective schools. There was a trash can in between her and the table, and the can was already halfway full.  
Meulin had the television volume low due to the headache that came with her head cold. The next room over, Nepeta was taking a shower, and seemed to be singing as loudly and obnoxiously as humanly possible. For the past fifteen minutes Nepeta’s been enthusiastically singing songs that any other kid her age probably wouldn’t be caught dead listening to, out of fear of being made fun of.  
For example, at this _very_ moment, Nepeta was in the shower, hot water running and her shitty old iPod hooked up to some speakers , (one of which didn’t even work anymore) absolutely _blasting_ her hype music playlist. Honestly, Meulin could barely hear the TV over the sounds of Nepeta singing along and stamping her feet to the beat of Cannibal by Kesha. Most of the time it was endearing to Lin, but right now it was killing her.  
“Carn-i-vore, animal, I am a cann-i-bal— I eat boys up; you bet-ter run!” she sings under her breath now that the water’s off, and as she slides the shower door open, she playfully throws out her hand as if swiping a paw. She giggles and grabs a towel to dry herself off. Wrapping it around herself, she shakes her hair like she’s an animal, something Equius used to tease her about a lot when they’d walk home together after school in the rain.  
She smiled for a moment, thinking about how he’d always insist she take his umbrella or use her own, but she’d usually just stick her tongue out at him and smile, tasting the raindrops on her tongue. Equius would tell her “you know, rain isn’t necessarily clean,” and in return she’d tell him to stop being so smart about everything, and splash him a little. That always riled him up, but never in a way that made him genuinely upset. Some rainy days, though, when Nepeta had had a really awful, rotten day, she wouldn’t be caught playing around in the rain. She would stand under that umbrella with Equius. She’d ask him if they could hold hands, even though the answer was always yes. She cherished those moments, not just because of how much she loved and appreciated her best friend, but because she had a nagging fear that one day they wouldn’t be able to hold hands. She was scared that Equius would get a girlfriend, or hell, maybe even a boyfriend, and that they wouldn’t be able to do those sorts of things anymore.

 **Ding!** Her iPod chirps and suddenly she’s pulled out of thought. After pulling on the last of her clothes she runs to her room and lays on her bed, flat on her stomach.

Equius:

Hi Nepeta! Sorry for the late reply, robotix club had me stay late today  
But yes, that sounds alright, although today I can’t come over to your place. Horuss isn’t home, and I still don’t have my license yet, so I can’t drive there by myself  
Do you think you could come to my place?

Nepeta’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. “Do you think you could come to my place?” _BOY, DO I! IS THAT EVEN A **QUESTION?**_ she thinks to herself.

Nepeta:

yayaya ofc i can!!! see you in ~20, k? >;33c

Nepeta rolls over on her back and sighs a long, pining sigh. Of course he won’t catch onto the fact that she was flirting just now, seeing as he never has in all those years they’ve known each other, but a girl can dream… right? Well, at the very least, he might— nay, he will notice that she used the shampoo he gave her! She'll make sure of it! >:33c


End file.
